Tribute to Dad

Dad, Kumar Advani, passed away on Thursday - August 4th, 2016. He passed away peacefully in his sleep. This is my attempt at a tribute to him, which I wish to share with you all - since it means a lot to me and I believe that I need to share my thoughts as an outlet for how I feel. The Video Tribute is below.

It's been just over a week since Dad passed away. While we miss him .. A LOT .. we know he is peaceful and in a better place. He was unwell for over a year now and slowly you could see the illness take a toll on him physically, but never mentally.

Dad had lived a happy and fulfilling life. He had done, achieved and seen almost everything that we are sent here to experience. He lived life to the fullest and had few regrets. He had this charming, outgoing personality who would be the life of the party. He would make one feel like the most important person in the world. He loved giving - he was like Santa Claus 365 days of the year.

Dad was an amazing negotiator, he loved a good bargain and while he would always get the person on the other side to agree to him, more importantly he would almost always make a friend in the bargain.

He was the most energetic man I have known and till almost a year and a half ago, he could give kids 3 times younger than him a run for their money. We'd come back home after a whole day of being out and just plonk ourselves on the sofa, and he would still be on his feet, ensuring he got each person anything they wanted to eat or drink. He was the perfect host.

When we were informed of the illness - in April 2015, he was put on this very strict diet, many restrictions and a whole bunch of medicines, but he never let that affect his attitude. He didn't fuss or complain, he wondered about it for a bit, accepted it extremely well, stuck with the restrictions that were set on him and moved on. Healthwise he was doing very well for quite a few months. 

It was on August 3rd, 2015 - exactly a year before he passed that he was admitted in the hospital for the first time. While going through some documents recently, it was really uncanny when I tripped on a Hospital Card that was issued when he was admitted, which had an Expiry Date of: 04/08/2016 - the day of his passing. It was as if this was all planned immaculately.

This hospital visit was to be the first of many monthly visits to keep him comfortable. He was in physical pain on many occassions during this time, but not once did he complain - just smiled and made jokes. The doctors had told us that due to the multiple health conditions we were simply working on keeping him comfortable. 

What this did, is it made sure that most of the time we spent together we had one focus in mind, making sure that he is comfortable, happy and does what he wants to .. what he likes to. He attended Vandana's 40th birthday, danced like he loved to, spent quality time with the family and especially the grand kids. Bhavya, Rachit and Myra were lucky to have seen and spent time with their Nanu, her Dadu .. he spoilt them rotten and I am so happy for that. They will always have very fond memories of him, just as I will.

In the end of December 2015, we had a long and a bit of a nightmarish stay at the hospital. We were not sure how things would pan out. But we were lucky to get 7 great months with him. It started off with a fun new years eve at the hospital where the entire family brought in new year together. So what if Dad was in the hospital, he was getting better and we were determined not to miss a single moment to celebrate our time together.

A lot of our family and friends got the opportunity to come and meet him and spend time with him and say their goodbyes, not knowingly. He enjoyed and looked forward to everyone who came to meet him. 

In these last months, dad really wanted to take a vacation and would speak about it often. We knew that traveling anywhere far might not be a possibility, he'd been tiring very easily. But nonetheless we managed to plan a mini-vacation closeby in May 2016. I am thankful that we could make that happen.

The last few weeks before he passed he couldn't walk much. We got him a wheelchair so that we could take him out, so that he could have a change. He use to love going to the mall and on the last weekend we visited his favourite one; he visited the arcade, met a bunch of folks who knew and adored him, played the games he enjoyed and won a lot of tickets. He ate some of his favourite foods and ice cream. I believe he truly enjoyed himself - he came back with a smile. 

The same evening he struck a deal with someone to sell off his car, another thing he'd been wanting to do since he could no longer drive - the buyer came, the papers were signed and the Army Green Esteem that we always associated with dad was gone. But not before Myra and I shed a few tears, a part of Dad was going away. Little did we know, that while he fulfilled another one of his wishes, he also started the process of detachment.

The last couple of days he was finding it a little difficult to even stand without a tremble. Mom ensured he was comfortable, made him a few of his favorite things to eat and on the night before she took out his recliner matress so that he could sleep well.  

On the morning of August 4th, he was lying comfortably, curled up on his side with a peaceful look on his face. We like to believe he went peacefully, staisfied with his life, no wishes unfulfilled, no regrets. He had an aura while he lived and with the same aura and glow on his face he passed. 

I believe Dad left a lasting impression on all the people he met. 

He will always live in our hearts and while we are happy to know he no longer suffers, we will miss him ... A LOT!!

Pa, we love you!!!